The Interpersonal Process of Coaching
By Trish Swinscoe
There are so many definitions of coaching. A favourite has to be “I teach you to connect your head and your heart in a way that transforms your passion for your dreams, into action for your life”. Put in a more technical term; coaching is an interpersonal process that aims at enhancing well-being and performance in personal life and work domains. There are no right or wrong answers to what coaching is. Descriptions are often of
someone else’s experience when in coaching. What is more important is your own sense of what it is right now — just expect it to evolve as you go through a coaching experience.
Clients come into coaching from all walks of life, age, race, religion, and all come with varying issues, but all wanting to make changes to their lives by moving from where they are at present to where they want to be in the future. Coaches use
a number of methods to help a client move from one state to another, to a time scale that works for the client. Within these changes that need to take effect the coach often needs to work at a number of levels. “Dilts” talks of the neurological levels, all of which need to be addressed through effective communication with the coach.
There are number of models a coach can use to help a client reach their goals one of these is the GROW model — this enables a client to really work though their “suggested” goal. The term “suggested” is used as a goal can change as a coach starts to explore exactly where the clients wants to be.
G = Goal to ensure the goal is correct the coach will challenge, explore, and dig deep into the moral, ethical, and reason as to why this is a clients goal, sometimes only to find out the goal may start to change , or can be too large and needs breaking down. It is very important to ensure the goal fits with the client “eco” system; who it effects, does it sit with their values and beliefs, are the goals “workable” for the client and those around them.
R = Reality, are the time scales realistic, how does it sit within the time scales or other commitments the client may have.
O = Options, is this the best route for the client to take, what else is available, what happens if any elements of the goal are turned on its head, this is the opportunity to really “blow apart the goal(s)” and test its validity, and explore the routes open to the client.
W = Will/When, commit the client to take actions towards their goals, in some cases the client and coach may repeat the cycle, delving deeper each time, with more challenging questions. These are often designed to really challenge the client, questions the client may not have asked of themselves, a coach can tell by the clients words, actions, tonality, physiology just how “true” they are being to their selves.
The client can end up on an emotional roller coaster, as all areas are explored. Its during this time, coaches may also consider using “Time Line Therapy”, or other tools they are trained in, if there are issues that sit in the past, that need to be explored, because they may be impacting the now.
During this whole process, the client benefits greatly if they can be honest with the coach. No matter how strange the client may think something may sound, or worry about being judged, a coach is completely impartial and non-judgemental. This can be a massive turning point for a client. Clients may for the first time share their dream with the coach, and potentially look for a reaction, or they may have said it in the past and not got the reaction they expected. So they could be testing the water with the coach.
It is truly only at this point even the client may only see their dream suddenly turning the corner, and recognise a chance that they could make their dreams and passions come true by taking action for their lives, and suddenly the head and the heart connect.
A truly inspirational moment.
The best time to take action is whilst the passion is still “high.” The art is to continue session after session with the client and keep the client focused, and motivated. This is done through maintaining the passion for the client’s dream. When the client truly believes and sees their goal within reach they just have to keep running towards it. It is a careful balancing act with taking the client outside of their “comfort zone” whilst ensuring the client continues to believe in themselves, and their dream.
Coaching whilst a combination of mentoring and counselling can be direct and non-direct, but most of all is a supportive role. Giving the client the belief they CAN turn their passion and dreams into a reality. Just trust in their head and heart together. It is like riding a bike, you just know when it looks, sounds and feels right. You get to know that feeling time and time again. It can also
be about knowing when to trust in your instincts.
Although suggestions and suggestibility have been traditionally associated with hypnosis, hypnosis is not required for suggestive influence. When used skillfully, suggestions may affect perception, behaviour, cognition, emotion and motivation in a pre-planned manor. This maybe intentionally incorporated into a coaching session or added to existing techniques.
